View Single Post
ReveuseTroublee
Member
ReveuseTroublee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 yr Member
86 hugs
given
Default Mar 28, 2021 at 03:06 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkray View Post
Sometimes I still feel exactly like the most unpopular kid who’s always the last one picked for the team. I mean this has literally happened to me in the past and now as a full-grown adult basically the same thing happened in an online meeting the other day. Why would someone even structure a supposed “team-building” activity this way in the first place? Then, when I’m finally given a chance to speak, why do I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I rush and say only a fraction of what I really want to?

It sucks that I still feel so little confidence in myself that something so minor still makes me just want to shrink away and hide. I feel like there’s still so much work I need to do when it comes to my self esteem that I don’t even know where to begin (or whether I’m a lost cause since I can’t shake these feelings and still feel like such a child).

It’s always been hard for me making and keeping friends. I’ve been at this job for a long time and I’ve always been nice to people and accomplished a lot professionally, but it’s like everyone is at best unaware of my existence and at worst weirdly repelled by me. I know intellectually that someone has to be chosen last and none of this likely was done purposefully, but why do I still feel so left out all of the time?
I feel like you may be stuck in the past. If these team-building activities bring back memories of what it felt like being in school, being left out or chosen last - things like this stick with us. You still see yourself as the way you were made to feel in the past. It reminds you of these feelings, being uncomfortable, feeling helpless and uneasy. It is still the same situation. Just with different people. And maybe older now, but let's be honest. You can get bullied at work too, in fact it is quite common. You would think people would get past putting others down to feel great or other ways to treat their insecurities but they don't.
You are open about how you feel, you don't conceal it to others or lie to yourself.
The truth is I am sure you were not the only one feeling like this during this meeting.
You might have fears regarding social situations and your self-esteem but to be honest even after years passed I still struggle with things that happened during puberty and my experience with peer group and other teens. I feel like during these time we are the most vulnerable.
You can try to practice these situations and find things you can take pride in.
But I feel a little insecure and cautious we always tend to stay... Maybe because of introversion.
In the end ask yourself? Have you done anything to challenge yourself and to get better at handling these situations at all costs or avoided them and were glad when they were are as rare as possible?
Then you get your answer.
Growing up adds responsibilities, we get more calm about some things and more patient, but not always.
Being an adult does not make things much easier, even if we do hope for the big change...
We make the big changes through challenging ourselves, gaining independence, investing in personal growth, working on our resilience, confidence and so on. But it takes time...
In terms of team work a lot of times people don't pay much attention to others, they just don't and care more about their own benefits and results - often even more as adults...
ReveuseTroublee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote