My life’s become one big train wreck in a matter of weeks. I don’t want to be alive anymore but I have to stay because of my friends and family. I’m a minor but I’m going to be getting a job soon, I need to know if there’s any help I can get without my mom consenting. I really need some options.

Rant/explanation - TW: suicide, loss, sh, ed
It started when I lost my grandma that raised me my whole life. Been ignoring it until lately when my brain isn’t letting me do that anymore. Since I lived with her, I had to move out and I’m living with my mother. Our housing situation is temporary and I don’t have a room or any privacy and it’s my first time living in a neighborhood, I panic too badly around all the people to be able to go outside for some peace. And I love my mom but she makes me eat way more than my eating disorder is okay with and I don’t have a place to get away from anyone to throw it up and ease my thoughts so my brain picks away at every little thing about myself. And for the cherry on top my sister tried to overdose in front of me today. I’m terrible at dealing with loss and every single person I care about apart from my mom is suicidal or has had suicidal thoughts at some point.

Please give me some solutions, I can’t deal with all of this. How is it possible to cope with all of this.