I was just reminded of the connection between physical pain and depression. I wonder if how bad I've been feeling lately has something to do with the (gradual over the last 6 months or so) worsening arthritis pain in my shoulder? I haven't been to physical therapy yet because I'm having trouble getting an appointment scheduled (due to continued covid restrictions). I've figured out how to sleep so that I'm not wakened during the night with momentary excruciating pain like had been happening for a bit which made me finally tell my doctor, although my anxiety for a couple weeks there was waking me up anyway. I'm thinking it's all just catching up with me - living through a pandemic, my ongoing shoulder pain, extended family illnesses that have been happening lately, H not working for the past year, and the thing that caused the dam to finally break in therapy the other day, t starting to look old (not that I've told her that yet, I mean how the hell do you tell someone you care about that they look old?) I need to start a new gratitude practice and make it a part of starting EVERY day because even if it's something tiny at first, there's always something I can find to be grateful for. Usually once I start thinking about it I surprise myself with how much there is to be grateful for. I had gotten out of the habit of doing so, and I need to start again.