I talked to my doctor. Told him everything. Told him I thought the pharmacy was poisoning me and the meds were poison and I stopped taking them, feeling chatty and hyper and not sleeping well, the eating disorder stuff. That I’m exhausted and feel like a bother and sick of waiting for the ****ing psychiatrist.

He seemed worried about me. He reassured me several times that they meds weren’t poison and asked that I take them again. Not just the Latuda and lithium that I was taking, but also the Abilify that I stopped a few weeks ago. Most important that I take the Latuda and Abilify.

He also said he’s going to contact the psychiatrist straight away see what’s up.

I just... I trust him. If he says the meds aren’t poison then I’ll try to take them. He reassured me 100% that they aren’t poison. So I’m going to take him at his word. He’s a professional that I trust. He thanked me for trusting him.

So he’s going to call me again on Thursday see how I’m doing. Hopefully I feel better. I’m sick of feeling like this.

People who romanticize bipolar can ****ing suck it. This isn’t pretty. This sucks. It’s horrible.

Anyway, since I trust him I will take the meds. Try my best anyway.