Welcome to PC... of course my first thought.. is to say.. "oh please eat"... but you don't want that support.. so

I am really trying to listen to you.. to answer.. what you want help with...

I have had an ED for about 6 years....

To answer your specific question.... "I don't want help yet and he won't listen"...

1. you could break up with him..

2. you could explain to him.. and go out to the internet - print out material on anerxioa... and in that material.. it will tell him that until the person with the eating disorder wants help - those around them - can't help...
seeing it in black and white - may help him understand that for him to keep tabs on what you eat.. isn't going to change anything...

3. you could tell him - please leave my eating alone.. what I eat.. when I eat.. and so forth...

for a person such as your boyfriend... it is very hard to watch a person that he loves not eat and not take care of themselves... it hurts him...

I have an ED... but I had a friend with an eating disorder. and it was very hard on me.. trying to get her to eat when she didn't want to... and in the end... nothing I said helped.. she froze me out of her life..because she didn't want me to intefere...

so I can see both sides.. I guess...

I wish you all the luck... and I hope.. sometime soon.. you will change your mind and want to eat...