Nobody is perfect and people do change but mostly that change happens in younger age. Like 20 year old player could certainly become responsible parent and provider at 35. At 50 though change is difficult. Why can’t he go to individual therapy? Why waiting for couples counseling? You wanted couples counseling for a long time yet it didn’t happen. People do it during covid.

He takes care of you know. Because he is building a narrative of a perfect husband. When you were together he wasn’t taking care of you. You talking too much about work or other negative things stressed him out so you were not sharing as much as spouses would. He certainly was no much help financially and you had to carry him monthly and he took money without permission. He is not capable of doing much physically as he has health problems that he isn’t taking care of. He isn’t taking care of your living space because he is a slob. He instigated constant frequent and volatile (even if not physical) fights which shouldn’t be a part of loving marriage. He lied more than once. He says he loves you but that’s not enough. Words are cheap.

Sometimes you need to leave a person couple of times before you decide to stay or go. It’s not always clear.

And it’s not uncommon to go back to exes and have intimacy with exes (or soon to be exes) in a vulnerable state: just out of a hospital, having health issues, job struggles etc It could be confusing. Couple counseling or talking to him while separated is one thing, sleeping with him right out of a hospital due to mental health issue is different. When couples are separated in order to work on their marriage, it’s not recommended to have sex (in my knowledge, I might be wrong)