I “saw” my therapist today. She is so nice and so knowledgeable and shows emotion. I explained to her about what happened yesterday with the Pdoc and them returning to in person sessions. She seemed to think the sudden news, because I didn’t know anything before Pdoc told me, and the sudden change in things threw me off and it was like sensory overload almost. But she was super nice and understanding. I mentioned having transference with the old t and that was one of the reasons I wanted to stop seeing her. My new therapist said “so you wanted her to be your girlfriend?” And I said “I just had a crush on her” and she said “she must have been pretty.” Then we discussed that hopefully there won’t be transference between the two of us and we laughed about the age difference and that she’s old enough to be my mom. I mentioned the cosmic brownies I like so much because they are dense. She mentioned this really dense bread called eskiel bread and thought I’d like it because it’s really dense too. I am going to go to the store to get some. I talked about old T but I was adamant that I liked working with new T and thought she was really nice. She said the same thing to me.

But now that I have a good client/therapist relationship with my new T and we got the house we wanted, I feel pretty good right now. The doctor called in my Xanax so I now take 1mil 3 times a day. And it’s a 3 month supply and 270 Xanax didn’t cost me anything. So hopefully my anxiety stays under control now.