You are not a bother, not to me at least. i agree with the wise and wonderful Open Eyes about seeing a doctor. From what you wrote it does seem like you're trying but your Wife still doesn't seem convinced. i am not sure if there is much else you can do unfortunately. Try to insist with Marriage Counseling if possible. Please do not blame yourself. From what you wrote, it does seem like something you don't have a lot of control over except perhaps some individual therapy. Some Marriages can have issues due to sexual things like this at least i think so. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Falstaff, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!