why is it the one time you want them to find something (or figure things out), they don't?!?!

after reading a message from my specialist doctor, i kinda just broke down. the mystery continues, as to what the h**l is going on & causing my symptoms! and it's maddening -> truly is.

i'm the type of person who never goes to the doctor/clinic unless i HAVE to. but what i've been thru and will still have to go thru, has me so beyond overwhelming exhaustion that i'm ready to say the h**l with it. and tonight i actually started crying!

and then i cried more cuz i miss my aunt! she'd be the only one who would know what i was feeling, know what i was going thru, and even know the words to say to what i'm suppose to do!!!

-> i'm ready for my hiatus now - blank knows i need it

[ six injuries in five months doesn't help much either ]