Yeah, object consistency is an issue for me. I think my T is using the concept of consistent availability for me. to be clear not constant... consistent. I am at a place of basically 2 years of daily contact (email or session), including weekends. The emails are not crisis emails. I email typically in the mornings of the days we don't meet about whatever I want to talk about. I used to journal to her between sessions and give it to her so this has basically replaced that. The difference with this is I do get a reply from her. Sometimes my emails are really short 2-3 sentences; most of them are about 1/4 a page. Her replies are usually 3-4 sentences and very much a template, in which only 1 or 2 sentences is in reply to what I actually wrote. Occasionally they will be longer.

I find I use her reply emails through out the day, I'll open them and just leave them up on my screen as one of the many windows I have open on my computer.

I do feel like it is making a difference. I have gone from being afraid of something happening to her (and who would take care of me), to being afraid that she is someone different after breaks, and not believing that she is there... to believing she is there and often when in crisis and I email her, I can calm in knowing that she will reply the next time she has time, is in her dedicated to work mode time. Sometimes that reply will be quick and sometimes it won't be until the next day... it will come. Also as part of my process, it sometimes gets confusing when I'm writing to her if it is her I am writing to or if I'm writing to another part of myself. Which I think is part of the process of internalizing the object.

The video visits have caused some issues, it's hard to explain. So, we'll see what things will be like once I get to see her in person again.

I think it's harder to figure out what is needed to grow into and through object consistency when other relationships in one's life are unstable for whatever reasons.