It's good that you'll talk to your therapist tomorrow. It might help - Also to talk about quick coping techniques and just someone to talk to.

I hope you live a long happy life. Right now everything is weighing on you and you're in a bad place but it'll get better don't be hard on yourself...

If you need help about those thoughts then call a family member, friend, talk here and vent if you want.. I get those thoughts sometimes but it's much better to live - You have to find a way to become well and it's hard.

Last year I wrote down only 1-2 things to do for the day because of all the dissociative panic attacks - Now I do much more. Some days are bad and others are good or ok.

*hugs*