Tonight is very difficult. I'm struggling to take a shower. I really want one. I'm just anxious about it. I'm always anxious about it. I've been trying exposure therapy where I start off with my thoughts. Thinking about it is terrible. Online therapy is hard. We're supposed to be working on this but we're not. I guess it's my fault. I guess I have to bring it up. But I already have a lot going on. I'm angry at myself. I'm already doing exposure therapy on trying to leave the house. I'm supposed to sit on the patio every day. These past two days, I didn't do it. These last couple of days have been hard. I hate that I have a human body. I hate my body.