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I知 caught in a loop of shame, because I hate when something is obvious, and Yet I wont get it, or I値l ask something I know the answer to. I値l even know the answer in my head, but still say or act on the the wrong answer. Why?
I think it happens when I知 overwhelmed, too tired, stressed, etc.
It makes me question myself, and the truth is I get to a place where I can稚 trust my own eyes, thought process, intelligence, and so on. I guess I have a condition that flares up, and I知 afraid people will see it and think (know) I am (or can be) an idiot.
I think I知 usually competent? But I知 not sure. I think about the times I致e been ridiculed. I try not to take myself too seriously, but this feels like something deep I have a hard time controlling. I知 wound tight.
My ego is wounded perhaps. All I know is my stomach keeps burning about work. Perpetual fear of doing something wrong, stupid, or not measuring up.
I can believe how I became this vulnerable, as I did have a number of hurdles and scares, aside from my stress job.
I just can稚 stop feeling bad about myself in my work capacity. I get so upset with myself when I知 not bright!
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