OpenEyes, spot on again, thanks!

Yes I realise that. He's always been her favourite and as I've got older it's become more obvious. At 65, I know nothing will change but I'm not going to demolish my boundaries just to satisfy my mother's desire for "the easy way out". When I challenge her about the suggestion of me apologising, she avoids answering, then dredges up unrelated things that have happened to her in the past.

I've also had to listen to her comments about my sister-in-law wearing the trousers. My brother has allowed this to happen so now lives with the consequences. I know my mother can't interfere in their relationship but it's another reason why she takes it out on me. She's admitted being a coward....