I don't know why this occurred. I started hearing "voices" after an attempt in 2008. Initially, these voices were all dark. Then, later I thought I was talking to God's Angels, who gave me joyous smiles and positive words and affirmations.

I don't know why I started to hear voices, but I interpreted it to mean I was to use this gift to help others. I interpreted it to mean that I could hear both the dark and the light, which has been my experience to date. And not just auditory - I experienced the dark and the light physically too.

Now I wonder if my brain chemistry had also changed, back in 2008, and if that's how this all happened.

I am closing this part of my life off. After 13 years, I have to. But I do not understand the WHY.

I mean, now I have to be on some pretty strong medications to drown out the voices. And I still experience the physical part of channeling -- I have to cast out the dark by means of prayers. I had an exorcism done on me last weekend, and sounds came out of my mouth as they exited. My husband has done an exorcism on me too, and they growl and hiss when confronted and faced by JC.

This is sooooo far beyond my comprehension. I just wish I knew why this had to happen.

Now I have to deal with it, physically, mentally and emotionally and it takes away from my quality of life.