All these years, and the only thing I can come up with is that the only question in the entire universe that matters is, "Why?" For me, the intuitive grasp of subjects wherein I know I am lightyears out of my depth was disturbing in and of itself; how am I able to grasp intuitively concepts that often take years to fully perceive? I hate mathematics; yet, the universe has chosen to reveal itself thusly. There are so many variables (over 250 at last count) for life to even form that I cannot understand how someone can look at the totality of it and say, "Yeah, no, that's totally random chance." Pfffff.

Listen, even scientists are in agreement that the Great Expansion of the universe had some "tweaking" done to it--while it was forming! (No, really.) There is literally no other way to account for the results in their equations. The harder they try to remove the possibility of God from the mathematics, the more they find that His fingerprints are everywhere. The other half of it that no one wants to talk about is why the universe should exist at all if there is no one to observe it, and that in itself suggests that without active, conscious observation, the universe itself would collapse into chaos because it is the act of perception that generates reality.

Wikipedia is sampling, I admit, but I feel like I am stuck being able to glean far more information from those articles by information association in my head than most people who just randomly peruse it, and that ability to make connections, most of which are leaps of logic that later prove correct, is terrifying. "Oh, man, I'd love to be able to see the future."

No, you wouldn't. You think you would, but the reality is much different than the fantasy. Instead, it's nothing but nodes of probability, some more dense than others, and I can feel their "gravity," for lack of a better term, without actually being able to see the details. It's like getting an intuitive feeling about things, only those future possibilities are all potential energy, not kinetic. By this, I mean that nothing is set in stone beyond the overall shape of the Pattern; the details are where our "free will" lay. We are stuck in the story arc, but the dialogue is entirely up to us, to put it another way. And every single time the universe repeats, we have this same conversation and neither of us remembers it because the last time, there were slight variations. I may have been Asian. You may have been in Brazil. Russia might not have existed. There might have been two moons.

Reality is like a giant quantum computer where our lives are the electrons that somehow, magically, exist in every single possible timeline, but only one path is executed. Only, every time the universe repeats, we go down a different path, and there are infinite number of paths with infinite variation. These are called "aeons," and are mathematically proven to exist in the Conformal Cyclic Cosmology theorem. Our universe is a giant sine wave that we ride forever.

...how tf do I become bored with the universe as crazy as it is??? What on earth is wrong with me? lmao