I didn't talk to my mom last night... Maybe we'll go for a drive and I'll open up about my head being obsessive and stuff. I have a hard time talking in real life about these things, especially when they're really close like my mom.

It took me like two years to tell her I was diagnosed with psychotic disorder and had been experiencing psychosis again... I'm trying to be open and honest, but it's hard. I feel like people judge me when they know about what goes on in my head, or they feel bad for me. Or just worry.

My mom worries. I hate making her worry. She knows I've been manic lately, and went off my meds (which is why she's monitoring me). But she doesn't know about the obsessive thinking and the eating stuff.

Why is everything so hard.

IDK maybe I'm falling into depression now.