So Sorry you're experiencing this struggle of yours. i partly agree with the wise and wonderful raging vortex about having never really experienced this, i am not sure if it is related to bipolar or not since i am not bipolar myself. Perhaps your pdoc may be able to help you so i'd suggest to talk to him about this if you haven't already. i Hope and Pray things will improve then. Please do not give up. Hugs. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Bipolarchic14, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!