I don't know what to do with myself. As time goes on, I'm beginning to see just how damaged I am. I think I may be either schizotypal or schizoid personality disorder, because of the fact I can't have mental emotions, I can't feel lonely, and a host of new problems show up because of it. I'm thinking the schizoid one... This is really bad news for me. One of the symptoms is that they can't form meaningful relationships. That's a dagger to the heart.

Also, I'm seeing a lot of people heavily criticize me, im mean deep criticisms, even hatred towards me, a group actually thinks I'm satan! lol I'm more troubled than I ever realized. It's like water running through my fingers, I can't control it. My trauma has gotten better, I can still be an asshole here and there though. I'm always doom and gloom because I can't feel positive emotions. This mental illness keeps bringing me to my knees, and it weights on everyone around me. I feel like I'm just a burden, and the longer I live the more people absolutely *hate* me.