Pink’s post where we discussed the expression of gratitude for all the care our T’s give us and Sunrise’s post where she questioned if connecting and bonding with others would ever become easier came together for me in a small exchange this week.

I don’t know if I posted before about a profound experience I had this year with one of my students. This student’s academic success falls well short of stellar and her encounters with me at times were likely… unpleasant. To her credit she hung in there and one by one met all academic requirements. This past year this student suffered the loss of two very prominent people in her life within a matter of 6 months. Of all places, she ended up in my office at 11:00 at night. I listened patiently for a while and must have unconsciously mirrored some of the empathy my T had shown me in our interactions. Much to my surprise the student unleashed a storm of raw and unrestrained emotion, the scale of which I had never witnessed in my life. I simply cannot even articulate the intensity of her grief; it was as if tears were flowing from every pore in her body. For me time just seemed to stop as I sat silently observing every detail of this response in total disbelief. I just can’t describe the impact this encounter had on me. Although I think I provided what she needed that night, I later regretted not listening to my inner voice. It was screaming for me to just reach out hug her, but I simply couldn’t do it. I’m not sure why I stayed a distance conscientious observer that night…professional boundaries; fear of getting in over my head; not having seen this action modeled; fear that my actions would be misinterpreted??? Afterwards I wrote about this interaction for weeks in my private journal.

Today this student graduated. Today I did not withhold my hug nor did I withhold expressing how happy I was that she had reached what seemed like an unattainable goal for the past 4 years. Today I reached out and connected with someone and actually felt like I gained a piece of my Self instead of losing more. The therapeutic interaction with my T is transferable and I am thankful for it.