Thanks Beth, it is. Former T wrote me her response in email which is how I had contacted her initially. So I emailed her again and it's rather long. I put it in the thread about Dear T. I know she isn't going to change her mind but I wish I could understand her reasoning better. When we parted ways due to her MS, she made it sound like I could come back at some point if she were to come back to practicing. I know things change. People change. Etc. But I am beating myself up for not being good enough to be accepted back. The one person who I thought accepted me despite everything I told her doesn't want me. It's beyond painful. It's agonizing.