So Sorry for your Losses! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about feeling So Sorry for what you're going through. Like you have all said, you may be not alone in this although that perhaps doesn't make it easier. Are you currently seeing a therapist? Perhaps that may help a bit. Sorry if hearing that bothers you. i do not want to hurt people. Please do not give up. Hugs. Please do keep us updated if you can and want to. i am also available through pm and Hopefully others as well if you just ask. Do try your Best. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @thekingof8, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!