What has been gnawing at me is my last phone conversation with former T. When we were ending due to her MS. She said, it is the end for now. She said, I don't think it is goodbye.


Totally led me to believe that the possibility remained that we might work together again sometime. Of course things change. People change. Circumstances change. I wish therapists wouldn't say things they don't intend to do. Maybe she intended it at the time. I don't know.

It's like current T. She says she will never leave me. How can she say that? Everyone leaves sometime. She says she can't imagine not working. She is probably 70. That's true but you never know what your health is going to do or something. Like, don't promise. Because you likely can't keep it.


Ugh. Frustrated today. At least I have numbed out. I am not feeling so much pain. I just got to the point where the pain was so intense that my numbing coping mechanism took over. Now I'm numb and don't feel anything. Good. I hope I stay that way.