Hi L. I'm feeling a little bit less lonely tonight. I painted earlier, which is soothing for me, and because I hadn't in awhile. And then my painting inspired a poem. And now it's almost time to go to bed. Why did you have to say what you did on Friday? Why? I'm questioning everything now and my brain is just sure you are going to say you can't work with me anymore because of what you said which would break my heart because it will just prove to me that I should have been the one to leave before you could leave me. Just like I've known all the **** along.

I still love you, anyway, you know. Just be gentle about it, okay?

I'm also not going to call because last time I asked to come sooner it seemed like you were booked up. And the way you said on Friday (before the fearful comment) that we should schedule the rest of the month to make sure I was on the books or whatever also made me think your schedule is full.