((poshgirl)), keep in mind that as you learn more about how individuals manipulate and other things that tend to be dysfunctional behaviors, given your mother's age and generation, often these behaviors were common. Then you have your mother's history where she was often abandoned emotionally and other wise. It's not unusual for a person to want things and yet struggle to be able to get these things to happen. Yes, your mother is reaching out for help to get challenges she has resolved, as people age and become more dependent, they tend to fixate on certain things more. Along with this tends to come a repetitive request or venting of frustration. When a person is older like your mother, this simply won't change and as she progresses in age there will be a time where she slowly declines. So expecting her to learn to change by walking away simply isn't going to change her behaviors. Also, when a person ages they lose more control over their lives and this contributes to behaviors that can get annoying like you describe.

When it comes to aging, professionals learn to basically do what is called "memory care" and all the focus is on helping the individual function based on whatever that individual "can" remember and function with. There is no effort to change the individual's personality traits, only to avoid things that tend to stress or upset the individual.

This is typical of how an elderly individual does less as they age.