Quote:
Originally Posted by KLL85
I think it’s important to recognise and remember that you are not your mother, you’re working on yourself in a way that she probably never did. That makes you completely different and actually shows that although you may not always express the kind hearted soul, it is in you and you are trying your best and that is all anyone can ask. As clients we mess up and it can be painful. But messing up is the way we make progress. Hopefully a good repair following this rupture will allow the therapeutic relationship between you and your T to deepen even further.
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Messing up feels so risky which is ironic given how hard I work at deliberately messing up my loving relationships.
I can think of occasions when I am kind hearted, but it seems fake, as if I am playing a role. In therapy, I don't play that role and so I am unpleasant and challenging and not much more. Although, she does keep working with me and has said very loving things to me. I wonder if I am brave enough to ask if she sees a kind heart in me.