Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
I find it infuriating when my therapist says that she welcomes my anger. It is as if I am rendered impotent. Don't welcome it, react to it! Fall into my old patterns and let us play out roles where we shout and hurt each other.
Engaging in conflict is a type of connection. It's hurtful and difficult and draining, but it is a kind of contact. Sometimes I like teasing my cat to make him angry so I can see him interact with me.
Is anger a familiar emotion for you? What were the dominant feelings in your childhood home and were you allowed to express them?
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Yes this feels familiar. A reaction of anger towards my anger is what I know and feel safe with I guess and it connects me with a person. I was emotionally neglected by my mother as well as emotionally abused by both my mother and father and physically abused by my father. So I had a lot of anger, but was not really allowed to express any feelings or emotions. If I showed anger, I got anger right back at me to shut me down. My parents used to fight a lot as well so I witnessed a fair amount of domestic violence, maybe I’ve internalised that as a way of caring in some warped strange way.