I would notice my family looking at me very weirdly - with suspicion? - when i interacted with my young nephew, and i remember thinking, are they surprised that i have this sweetness and light inside of me? Because i was surprised to discover it there myself. But it only lasted as long as his innocence did. It couldnt bear the weight of post-innocence, whatever that was.

Eta - altho i have always sensed a kindred spirit in you, that made me want to tease you, to tell you i saw that your spikes were false - that i didnt believe them, or that they were meant for me. I never believed it about my mother either. She had to literally .