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unpolar
Junior Member
unpolar has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Germany
Posts: 13
2 yr Member
9 hugs
given
Trig Apr 08, 2021 at 09:01 AM
 
Hello and thank you for your kind replies!

Luckily I have moved away from my father a few months ago so at least I don't have to deal with the constant insults and belittling anymore.
I actually thought my depression would get better after moving out but it didn't. It's probably at least partly due to being isolated and alone most of the time. Just this morning I worked up the courage to ask a friend if they would like to meet up some time. I haven't seen them in months. Got no reply so far and as much as I try to not let it affect me it just makes me want to
Possible trigger:
Some days I just can't stop the bad thoughts. One bad thing happens and my brain becomes a nibwfidkdand no matter where my thoughts go everything reminds me of something bad that happened or a situation where I felt mistreated.
My ex doctor prescribed me an antidepressant that's supposed to help me sleep. The dose he prescribed me does nothing. I've abused this medication by mixing it with alcohol. I know it's pathetic but it helps.
I'm just tired of everything because I tried and tried for years to do my own thing and to not let my parents' indifference get me down but there just doesn't seem to be a point in even trying because I get rejected time after time and no one actually cares and I know everyone thinks of me as a useless waste of space and I'm tired of pretending that I don't care.

I know self medicating is supposedly bad yet I am not sure if I even want to stop because I'm just tired of everything and some days (most days actually) I just want to stop thinking.

Last edited by bluekoi; Apr 08, 2021 at 10:52 AM.. Reason: Add trigger icon. Apply trigger code. Edit method of abuse.
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