This seems like a very difficult situation, I think I'm about 5 minutes away from being in your situation as well. Although I have one child close to your youngest age. Please let me know how your coping with this....everyone says things like, time will heal all wounds and you will get used to the new situation, but these words don't help when your deep into it at all I feel. I hope your not blaming yourself and thinking your doing anything wrong, you seem to care a great deal. This new situation that your kids are in really is horrible. I hope there's some people out there that can at least say they made it the other side somehow and still ok.