I feel discouraged.

It seems like whenever I have my one day off from working, my SO picks a fight with me. Sometimes it's in the form of snapping at me for no reason, or criticizing me out of the blue. If this were just some acquaintance I'd just make excuses to not be around or avoid.

It throws me off and then I feel crappy for hours. I ask why he's yelling out of the blue and he just denies that he's yelling. Sometimes I even wonder if he likes it when I feel bad.

I'm not sleeping well now. This is almost so predictable that I'm starting to dread my day off. I'm so sad and depressed about this. I'm still depressed from this from a day ago. For me even just short outbursts of voice raising are stressful and put me in a tailspin for hours. And then he acts like nothing happened later while I still feel devastated and discouraged. I've told him this is wearing me down and asked what we can do to keep this from happening, but it still keeps happening.

I feel so devastated. I don't have much hope that this will improve. I was so discouraged I started googling random depression related things. I don't know how to get myself to a more positive place mentally. I've always been introverted, and it's been hard to try to make new friends in the middle of a pandemic. I'm so grateful to have this community.

Thanks for listening to this.