I can manage without alcohol but I hate it. Last night I was really depressed so I drank to not feel as much. Was the first time in a week or so. Doesn't mean I was feeling ok on the other days though. Still felt like ****.
So I guess the good thing is that I'm not actually dependant on it, it's just that on most days I can't find a reason to not drink because it doesn't seem to make anything better for me.
I seem to have become unable to handle any sort of strong emotion. And anything evokes a strong emotion right now. Today someone got annoyed with me because I misunderstood something. Now I can't wait to get home so I can
I lost all my motivation and positive outlook on the future and I don't have any support. I just whine about how bad I feel online until everyone gets pissed off and then I leave and look for a new place where I do the same thing. Just letting you know that I do this so you all might want to reconsider replying to me because apparently I'm a lost cause who is too whiny and lazy to actually do something to feel better.