Not doing too great this morning. I got my first vaccine on Wednesday morning and have had very little side effects. Having health anxiety got me convinced that it was going to be terrible, but it hasn't been. But as is typical of me, I just knew that feeling good and uplifted wouldn't last. I've been listening to a Brene Brown audio-book, and she talked about "the other shoe dropping." And it dawned on me that I do just that. I don't tend to enjoy good days as much as I can because it's going to be followed by a bad day. I'm not sure if I predicted or caused myself to feel down this morning. What got me down this morning is that I weighed myself and I've lost about 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks and a couple days. Even 60 pounds ago, whenever I lost weight I just knew it was a sign that I was dying. So, I would eat terribly for a week and my weight would go back up and I would relax. But I've been trying to bring my weight down to ensure I can live long enough to be with my pups and it's been a pretty harrowing journey. Knowing that the weight is coming off because I'm eating better. Deliberately. Still, this morning it seems to be bothering me again more than normal.

Anyway, feeling down this morning... for getting good news. Weird. My brain is an a-hole.