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Default Apr 09, 2021 at 01:16 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by NatalieJastrow View Post
I can't. Unless he gets the promotion we are stuck together for good. I am starting to hate my job, it is always the same thing. The people in this role no matter how nicely they start out -- start turning into jerks and taking it out on the person in my role because that is the only person they can.

I am still waiting on the potential about the promotion. He has been horrible lately. I would sit him down for a chat but I am trying not to do that if he is getting a promotion.

Here is another example... sometimes he will ask me to ask someone else a question... he seems to think the answer will be provided in seconds. But, by phone or by e-mail.. it is probably going to take about 20 minutes -- even if everyone is paying attention and available.

So if he sends an e-mail saying will you ask "X" about "X" I don't respond until I have an answer.

Well a couple of weeks ago I get this e-mail that just says this
???????????????????????????????????????????????/

1. First, for the life of me I couldn't figure out what the e-mail was about so that took a moment.
2. Then it dawned on me, this was a flippant and rude way of suggesting that I was somehow leaving him hanging.
3. I was not leaving him hanging, it had been 20 minutes. I responded and said, I just hadn't received a response yet. This would have been the same by phone or e-mail.. people don't want around at their desks in case you ask a question.
4. WHAT THE HECK. Implicit in that e-mail is the idea that he doesn't trust that I am doing my job or trying to get an answer. I have worked for him for 7 years and have never left him hanging. He should assume - I am working on it. If it is too slow, he should send me an e-mail like, can you impress on X i need an answer....
5. The hair went up on the back of my neck, this is just what my old boss used to do all the time....

There is just no excuse for that.

I am still waiting to see if he is going to get the promotion -- I just don't see how he isn't going to but it could be a year....

Trying to remain calm
Not to hone in too much, but I have clients who request me to reach out to people, and it's because follow up takes a while. I always respond to let them know I will reach out and will get back to them when I get an answer.

Maybe he just needs more communication? Maybe he feels like he's not getting communication from you so he sort of bears down. You could try proactively communicating so he maybe learns some trust and backs off.

I'm not suggesting you are wrong or doing anything wrong. Just suggesting a way to change the relationship.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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