Dear JMIRAGLIA,
What an awful and heartbreaking ordeal you are suffering. I wish I knew what to say to help but I am not a psychologist and struggle with processing my own personal anguish, pain and grief. Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and respond to it with something really helpful to you. It is so terrible to suffer alone. My heart goes out to you.
Sincerely yours, Yao Wen