TunedOut

Thanks for your additional response.

I realise we all adopt family traits, to a lesser or greater extent, but I have been trying for years to be accepted for who I am not who she thinks I should be. So maybe I have two personalities. My sister-in-law once told me I was just like my mother. My response, after thinking what a cheek, was "no I'm not, I can make decisions". She's also commented to others about how my mother speaks to me, then behaves in such an unacceptable way, probably just because she thought she could.

I continue to work very hard to avoid becoming exactly like my mother. There has been so much resentment levelled at me over the years. From my traumatic birth to she had lovely thick hair until she had me. Then over the years it's become obvious my (younger) brother is favourite. There's even been criticism of the way I breathe. A respiratory infection many years ago left me with sometimes noisy breathing. Oh and I daren't roll my eyes because then I'm being melodramatic. Yes, that's one trait I've inherited.

I know it may appear mean but I'm not visiting this weekend. My aunt advised me that I perhaps go too often. I'm still upset that she cannot (or will not) see that I did not cause the family rift. I know the reason why she won't address it with my brother or sister-in-law is because they produced her only grandchild. Sister-in-law is volatile and could withdraw access.