I think what she wants is to have a sense of control. What often helps is having some kind of visiting caretaker that can help with the things she can't do anymore. But a presence that is able to help her feel she has control. It's hard for a child to be in that role and that's due to all the reasons you have shared.

At this point your mother will NEVER be able to change into something different than she already is. And whatever she is will gradually decline with age. She needs someone to either bring her meals or help her prepare them. The fact that she is just eating breakfast is a sign that she has gotten to the point where she finds preparing meals too much.

Truth is, at this point you can only be in their world because they can't be in your world. This can be triggering for a child that dealt with that problem before and never felt heard etc. Whatever the parent could not fix or deal with before just gets worse with age. Instead they want others to do the fixing as they simply never could and still can't. Aging is hard on everyone.