I wish I had some profound advice to offer. From a woman who has been where you are I just want to let you know you are not alone.

For me the choice was to leave and take my chances alone. I will not say it has been easy but I do feel much happier. It took many years of self loathing and a 5000 mile road trip away from him to get there. Sometimes you just have to let them self destruct on there own and protect yourself and your children.

Best wishes and bright blessings in the discovery of your best solution.