Marriage therapy is about two people learning how to communicate with each other. Each person in a relationship has to be able to understand how the dynamics of their personality, behaviors, history, feelings, communication interact with the others person’s personality, behaviors, history, feelings, communication. In order to have real positive change and be able to move forward, both parties have to make adjustments. It isn’t about blame; it’s about awareness and adjustment.

If therapy is only about your blaming of him, and he is the only person who needs to change, then that really isn’t marriage therapy.

You have valid reasons to mistrust him, and you will also have to work on how to effectively and respectfully communicate your fears and anger with your husband because your responses are also part of your marriage dynamic WHIlLE at the same time your husband has valid concerns about the relationship and will also have to work on how to effectively and respectfully communicate his own fears, needs, etc. because his responses and actions are also part of the marriage dynamic.

It’s a sort of “dance” a relationship gets into where both people have to understand how they play off of each other; only in exploring that push-pull together will they be able to truly change the dance. If only one partner is making the adjustments, they’ll just end up tripping over each other.

I hope you will be able to both be completely open about your concerns and needs and both be willing to hear each other and make the changes the relationship needs in order to move forward into a healthy one.

ETA: I wrote this before I saw your last post but I am leaving my post here. I’ve tried to frame what I wrote positively and supportively. Marriage is work. I hope the best for you.