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felt overwhelmed by the realisation of the love I have for them and how I allowed myself to feel that I am loved by them

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HI Mouse,

What a beautiful sentiment. Today is Mother's Day in the US and I am feeling this love of my children as well. It is the thought of my children that comes up when the suicidal ideation feels most intense.

To feel their love as well as your love for them is such a gift. I know my children love me and in that knowing I feel healing from the pain of my mother's distant nature.

Thanks for sharing