I’m being ripped apart with anxiety. I talk to my T on Tuesday that’s probably why I’m feeling a little better.I stayed home all day Friday by myself and didn’t freak out. Even after they were hours late and the car broke down. I hate how I don’t know how to put words to the feelings. I get nervous and shut down conversations. My head’s loud at night. I’ve had some serious conversations with my husband these past couple of days.

We worked out a meal plan we both can agree with. I got the meal supplement today and I’m mad because my mom was like it’s not X right because that makes you gain a lot of weight? I mean come on she knows I struggle with food. I just sent her a picture of it and stopped saying anything to her. There are several reasons I’m trying to lose weight. However the meal replacement was/is because I don’t get enough protein/vitamins. I’m overweight and malnourished. I want to be like “this is why XYZ, mom”. I’m trying to give her grace that my issues are biological and not directly her fault but I’m still mad.

I’ve been getting mad very easily. H says it’s all warranted but I’m not generally an angry person, it has me concerned. I’m getting too angry for me to handle, with my loud head, anxiety, eating habits, and bank account dwindling I’m getting concerned. I’m really angry!!!!