I developed depression right after finishing school last year and when trying to figure out what caused it I started to question some stuff that happened at home and it slowly dawned on me that the way my parents treated me (and still do) might actually qualify as emotional abuse and neglect respectively.
The thing is, I don't think others will see it that way. That if I try opening up about it everyone will just tell me that I'm oversensitive and that these are normal issues between children and parents. Everyone always thinks that everything is my fault and that its understandable that my father gets upset with me. A common theme is that I get accused of playing dumb or doing something on purpose or because I'm being defiant when the truth is that I really sometimes just don't know things or maybe just ain't a very practically thinking person. It upsets me that everyone thinks that it's completely warranted that my father criticises and insults me over things that I don't do on purpose and cannot change.
The prospect of seeing a therapist scares me because I think they might too might tell me that I'm the problem and that I'm unjustifiably putting the blame on my parents and that it's completely ok how they treat me. I know that would mess me up even more. I just feel invalid and misunderstood and it seems futile to reach out at all because maybe it is my fault and I just can't see it.