T,

Triggers galore. I thought I had skillfully managed that therapy homework item by seeking help from people who would understand why I needed verses paraphrased, and validate the religious abuse.

Then there were other triggers from other places, catching me unexpectedly. Someone's fear of their sibling perpetrator ignited mine.

Then a disagreement between 2 friends I value, both with their own religious trauma. Back to being triggered horribly. Calmed down, had a discussion. Thought I was OK. Boom, pain and more pain. Talked to partner, calmed down. Then overwhelming anguish at a glimpse of how my parents betrayed what should have been a good faith, crushed my spirit, creating this split of inside me.

Then a friend sharing vulnerable fears which I relate to so very much. More than words can say. I don't feel you'd genuinely understand on a visceral level because I don't think you've lived it. You'd understand as a therapist working with complex trauma stemming from childhood and attachment injury, but you probably never felt that all consuming terror of loss, of being utterly betrayed by parents that you had to dissociate or go insane.