@eskielover and @divine1966, my apologies - I now see your points about couples therapy being a two-way street, with both people working on their own issues, independently and together. I was SO focused on HIM and ALL that HE'S done WRONG, Iv'e been blinded by that and couldn't see how I may have contributed to certain things going awry in our relationship.

When I drink too much and bring up issues that are between us, it triggers him.... or, it has in the past .And I don't have strong coping skills in times of great stress. My anxieties and fears also can get the best of me, as well as my mistrust. These are all weaknesses of mine. I can fully admit this to our therapist... I need stronger and healthier coping skills, and I need to learn how to not let my fears take over.

So I know I have more to work on... probably a LOT. We BOTH do.

Anyways, I'm sorry for my reaction to your posts.. .I know you were just trying to help me see things from another perspective other than my own. Thank you for that.