I'm in distress. Fight or flight. I'm in a bad situation that won't be fixed what looks like anytime soon. It is most likely to get worse. There is trauma and abuse involved, and it is ongoing. It has been 18 months of constant and accelerating bad news and external actors causing mental health issues.

And most days now I find myself whispering 'help, help, help, help, help, help, help' endlessly.

And though I don't believe in it, I ask my family and friends that have passed, 'help, I pray, please, help'.

And those that are still alive, I have asked for help or they have offered. I feel like they must be watching a movie, where all the terrible things happen to us, and they can do nothing other than empathize, offer sympathy, and occasionally yell 'watch out!'

I don't know what I did to have such bad luck, I don't know how to stop it. I'm trying to battle everything head on, but there's only so much one pair of people can handle.