So Sorry that things are being bad! i am afraid i can't do much more other than listen and provide Support but if you need that i am here and Hopefully many others as well. Feel free to share more if you wish to. i Hope things will improve really soon. Do you have a therapist whom may be able to Help you during these difficult times? Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Noninde, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!