The therapist I see often talks about how predators manipulate you to make you see things in a way that suits them. The way someone acts towards you can be confusing. For example, if a perpetrator is kind to you or caring at times, it's disconcerting when they violate you. Sort of makes you doubt your own reality. We like to categorize people as good or bad. When someone we think of as good does something really bad, I think that it's often easier to start seeing ourselves as the bad one rather than placing the blame where it belongs. Unfortunately that coping mechanism is not helpful in the long run, but it's really hard to shake.

I know this is a common thing people say, it feels almost trite, but would you blame someone else who went through what you went through? Would you think they were in the wrong, or would you think there was something very wrong with that therapist that he behaved so appallingly? Because I think there's something wrong with him and that has nothing to do with you - you did not cause him to be a **** person. If it hadn't been you, I'm sure it would have been someone else - and that's not to dismiss how personal it feels to have someone hurt you like that. I'm just saying that he did it because of his own **** not because you did something wrong. There's nothing you could have done to justify him forcing himself on you.