Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
It’s possible her mother was not nurturing and your mother did feel unloved. Her mother’s generation did tend to be cold and children were to be seen and not heard. Is it just the two of them or did your mother have other siblings? Is your aunt older or younger than your mother?
Your mother may unknowingly be replicating the relationship she had with her mother in the way she relates to you. People do tend to pick up communication styles from their parents along with generational messages.
Complaints often mean “mom never taught me to...” and her mother’s generation often lacked in communication skills.
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Thanks Open Eyes, your perception is exactly right.
Her mother was one of 9. From what's been said, it was typical working class family, probably with 4/5 children to one bedroom. Both of my great grandfathers worked in heavy industry. Paid on a Friday, in pub Friday and Saturday, enough money for roast dinner on Sunday then anything of value in pawn shop so they could eat for rest of week. Don't think either men reached 50. Weren't averse to domestic violence either, especially when under the influence of alcohol.
She claims not, but is exactly the same. The nasty streak over many years became more noticeable as I have grown up. When I've challenged things, that's probably cultivated the angst more. My brother just goes along with what she says. Facial expressions can be hidden on the phone!
Her mother's mother told all her daughters "not teaching you to cook, you'll pick it up when you get married". To her credit, my mother was a good cook (traditional rather than modern).
May seem awful to say, but I'm much calmer. Almost like shaking off the shackles....