Hi Everyone,

Thanks so much for listening to this! I'm sorry it's long.

I'm stressed by my family of origin right now, particularly my brother. I've thought we've had at least a decent relationship, although only talking on the phone every couple months or so. He has lived far away for over 15 years, but he and his wife planning to move back to my town. My parents also live in this town, so all of us will be in the same area.
He talks to my mom but never initiates contact with me. So I happened to find out he was moving from my mother. My mom loves being the gatekeeper of information, and has frequently withheld important family info from me in order to put me at a disadvantage, cast a bad light on me, etc.

(I have had to put some distance between myself and my mother because she frequently gaslights and says things to try to get a reaction out of me. My therapist at the time said she thought my mother was jealous out of me, and that my mother has no empathy. My father just sides with my mother. So I've kept distance, just occasional emails and not much more).

My brother usually asks before booking a flight to our town to see if I am available. But he didn't this time, just notified me he's on the way. I have no idea if he asked my mother to pass the message along (she didn't). So I'm working long hours every day except one for the week he will be here. Also, I'm not vaccinated, so that's also a concern.

So I'm wondering why he's been so thoughtless, since I gave him lots of notice when I wanted to fly out to visit him (like 2 months, working around HIS schedule). He said that he wants to live closer to Mom and Dad since they're getting older. That's fine, and I would love to see him more when he does move. But my Mom "fakes" some dementia in order to get attention. She now has the habit of inserting "I don't remember" into lots of her conversation, but when asked what she did yesterday, she can describe recent history in lengthy detail. I am allowing for some slight dementia, but she's also faking it, and she has my brother fooled.

I'm a nervous wreck about why my brother is really going to be flying in. I tried to call him and will have to call back. I'm nervous about triangulation and my mother trying to get us in a fight with each other for her entertainment, or even worse. I'm already starting to have a weird feeling about what is going on.

He isn't moving to my town to be nearer to me; he's moving to be closer to our parents. His apparent disregard feels cold and makes me very very nervous.

I can't tell him this, just have to ask what his plans are, and that I only have one day off. But I am a major wreck!

Thank you for listening!