Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
What would help clear up your confusion? I have some questions that confuse me too:
1. Confusing your situation and the 19 yr old's. It's hard for me to think of one without the other, since its the same guy. Its like on law and order, where they say do or dont let in evidence from another case because it would prejudice the jury.
2. Is this a recurring discussion with your family? If so, can you tell them you only want SUPPORT from now on about it? The last few years i was even talking to my mother, i started telling her, "Youre hurting my self-esteem!" This was when Oprah started talking about kids' self-esteem, so my mother knew the word (english not her first language). She would reply, shaking her fist at me, "yeah i will give you some-ah steam!" So even though we were making a "joke" about it, i still let her know i didnt like it and that i wanted her to stop.
3. My family thinks im the stupid one in the family too, but im the only one who got into Mensa, and in high school PBK. So maybe we are savants and maybe they should shut up.  If they are so smart, why didnt they get us the help we needed? |
Thank you.
I’m so sorry you were hurt.
I don’t know what would help. I know I’m in a better place than I was twenty years ago. It felt like I was in a very slooow car crash...but I didn’t realize I was being hurt at the time...partly, because I didn’t know all of it..or that his intentions were bad.
Maybe it was like being molested as a kid...but not knowing you were being hurt at the time...it didn’t feel bad so you don’t tell anyone...then you find out how wrong it all was when you are older? Maybe not. All I know is that gradual realization that I was harmed...was/is confusing and surreal.
No, my family and I dont talk about it much. We talked about it some while the law suits were in progress....I tried to explain the best I could. At the time my mother admonished me, “Well! I hope you’ve learned your lesson!” I tried to explain it to my brother and he was so upset about how naive I was...and about the money...he left the table in a hurry. I felt like such an idiot. I had a session with with PrevT, me and my mom one time..I know she tried to explain it. It came up in conversation
with my daughter about two years ago and she was so mad...she was a teen at the time this happened and she said she was angry because she felt I chose him over her. Now that she’s an adult, I was able to describe, better, what happened. I think she’s in a better place with it. But she doesn’t want to talk about it.
That’s another harm this sort of issue creates..he didn’t just hurt me. He hurt my mother, my daughter, my family. They are secondary victims. I think of his family- his wife and children- as secondary victims, too.
Yes, in my family I am treated like I’m the stupid one.
But maybe we *are* savants and they should just shut up.
